Keeper of Vestiges

Welcome to the world of the Keeper of the Vestiges. I am he who keeps things that have long passed their expiry date, long passed their usefulness. They should be disposed of but I have decided to spare them. They now presently spend the rest of their miserable lives luxuriating in my apartment and the various places I lurk around. Somehow, they have surreptitiously infiltrated my forged-in-adamantium defences and attached their slimy appendages to my psyche. Sneaky little rascals, are they not?

For those of you who are flummoxed by the above rant, I apologise for they are solely for the benefit of my like-minded cohorts. Only they would understand, my long-suffering kindred spirits. As for the rest of you, can you please stand aside and join the others on the other side.

My wife has always complained to her long-suffering husband on why does he NOT throw things away. 'I don't know', I say; and I know I cannot, for fear of WWIII, give the same succinct answer above. So I look over myself physically and psychically and hope to find a plausible answer for my also long-suffering wife.

Unlike most people, I find it hard to sell my stuff to people. In fact, I would rather give them away then to sell them; but the honest truth is, I would rather keep them. To me the priority is to keep them, give them, sell them and the probability ratio looks something like this:
80 : 19.9999 : 0.0001.

Why don't I like selling my stuff? That question bugs the pants off me until one day last week when I was loitering along the streets of Bangsar Baru. I walked into this second hand bookshop when suddenly, I had a flashback to the time long ago when my brother and me was standing in front of a not dissimilar book exchange shop in Seremban.

I was hugging a box of our precious comics. We naively thought then that we could waltz into this nice shop and exchange this precious cache for something equally precious. The sad truth is, later back home, two shell-shocked youngsters were holding a few decrepit looking comics quite unlike the pristine ones we have before. Blinded by our eagerness for new reads, we have signed our heirloom away for some pale imitations.

The feelings are still there, I tell you. Loss, cheated, regret, sadness and guilt are only some of the words that have agglomerated itself into this smouldering ball that orbits itself around the collective psyche. Every now and then, it sends showers of guilt into the epicentre. At least that is what Doctor Phode deduced.

"Therefore don't sell your stuff, you will be shortchanged." "If you give them away, then there will be no expectations." "Don't do anything with them, they are precious!" Some of the gems that I imagine that can be translated from this mental shower.

'Why guilt?', you might ask. You see, I was the one who convince my brother to do the exchange...

Come to think of it, the good doctor did say that there should be closure after such a revelation. I don't know. Maybe time will tell. If not, I am sure my wife will tell.

Or maybe I should just switch to another therapist...

Or write a blog...

Happy Belated Birthday, Dear Sister!

I thunk I thought I can remember,
I never I thunk I do so otherwise,
I guess I better before I forget altogether,
I thunk I better before my conscience cries.

I thunk I thought I had better say,
A Very, Very, Happy Belated Birthday,
I hope I pray I can fully convey,
Peace + Joy Forever, this special special day.......

Have you ever been to me?

I used to be argumentative. There you go, an irreproachable confession. That's my opinion at least; some people (I wish I haven't known) would probably say under their breath, "You ignorant plebe, you still are!". To that I say, we are talking about a whole perception spectrum and I have gone through the whole gamut here: chili red to deadmen grey here. I was chili red but now I am baby orange argumentative.

I digress. I used to argue so much that my flatmates in Sydney once gave me a poster for my birthday. It says something like 'Dear God, "Please help those poor sods to know what you and I already know, that I am always RIGHT!"'. Well, that was the story of my life, even though I swear I was right 95% of the time. :-) The poster is long gone but in those days, it hangs proudly on the entrance to my room.

What brought about the change, you may ask? Well, I can trace this back to 1991 when I was back working in KL and Desert Storm was just brewing in the Middle East. Of course that was the talk of the year and we were discussing this amongst the colleagues. What was super clear to me then was that Iraq invaded Kuwait, and Saddam must be forced to withdraw. No matter how we argued, some colleagues of mine just thought that the west, primarily USA, was wrong and that it was more USA against Islam (even though Kuwait was Islamic). They believe it fervently with all their heart. Secretly, I wish that it was the Arab League who did the posturing and attacking, just to prove them wrong. :-P

It suddenly dawned on me the fruitlessness of the situation. We cannot change people's opinion on certain issues by arguing. When emotive issues are involved, people will always be painted by their prejudices, upbringing and social values. Heated arguments are counter-productive. We are wasting our time here if we think we can harangued our way through in these situations. There and then, I envy those who have the calm and peace to discuss things levelheadedly and persuasively.

This revelation has served me well since then. I have learnt to pull myself away from explosive situations most times, albeit reluctantly. I think that the older one get, the more obstinate and vindictive one gets and the more irrational we get when we get into arguments. The quarrels of youth and adolescence are soon forgotten and forgiven; the quarrels of adults are spiteful and remembered, often engraved and then propagated into silly vendettas that sometimes cross-infect close associates and relatives.

I know this for I have experienced these irrational quarrels and vindictiveness in my close circle of friends and relatives. I try to resolve these situations but I have not been always fruitful. In yesteryears, I would have aggravated the situation, but now I understand their positions and I normally slunk away silently muttering a prayer that closely reiterates that poster that was given to me years ago in Sydney......

Our Kuantan Trip

Kuantan

Our Kuantan Trip back in February was great and truly memorable. Never thought I would say this but Kuantan is like 10 times better than PD. Penned this series of SMSes on the beach for the folks back home:-

Kuantan beachside is like ...

the incessant rush of the wind, whistling through my face like so much women's chatter;

the roar of the waves cutting through the figures idling across the sand;

the grains of sand clinging on to everything I possess;

Panned Nuggets

I seeing my sons tear across the sand screaming like banshees possessed, as though the struggling crabs cupped in their hands were nuggets of gold panned from the mirrored shore;

crimson flesh slowly basting in the evening sun seasoned by the parents' ignorance;

temporal sand castles waiting for their fates in the hands of the stealthy, rising tide.

Need I say more?


Kuantan 2nd Day:

Kopi tiam breakfast time at one of the nouveau coffee shops. High 15ft ceiling and B&W photos does make pretty good atmosphere.

Kopi Tiam!

Kopi-O, Thick crusted kaya toast, half boiled eggs, nasi lemak forms part of the nostalgic fare,

Dreamers amongst us think of importing concept to KL, Kuantan trance awashed in kopi-o induced stupor.

The hermit crabs are a dime a dozen on the beach here. The kids corraled all crabs within half a mile and imprisoned all in a sandwalled pool ... At least, til the next all-freeing tide.

Stuffed crabs are overrated at 7 per piece. Over Oily shredded crab meat, probably leftover meat on leftover shells.

Board walk along Teluk Cempedak was pleasant enough until one see rubbish strewn on both sides.

'nuff said.




Kuantan 3rd day - final!

Heat, glorious heat... why is it always blindingly hot on the last day of any holiday?

Luckily the shade temperature is great. Probably why these nouveau coffee are going great guns here.

All in, Kuantan has been a pleasant surprise. Good beaches, hot dry weather, good coffee and all they need is a good hotel resort, more dustbins and the civic sense to use them.

Resting in Peaceful Rows

Resting in Peaceful Rows
Originally uploaded by phode.

Papa's memorial service took place on the dot last month on the 19th, the first anniversary of his passing away. Preparations the days before, as usual, were hectic and were in a procrastination-fueled frenzy. Getting the tomb ready was an exercise in 'cutting it really thin' but that will definitely belong to another story.

We finally made it though. Phew......

I wonder what will he think of all this if he was observing from above?

Anyway the photos are all here. Enjoy!

Papa's memorial service fotos!

People who would like to upload their photos (Any photos! Any size! Any number! You can upload 1 gigabyte of photos to me if you like!), can do so by sending their photos to the email below and I will update the photo album or create another album.

Send photos to me!